If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
