the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
