Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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