it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize