My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
