we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
