WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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