i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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