he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
