If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
