im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The adults are the big ones right?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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