in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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