Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
