wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
