ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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