The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
