I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
