thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
