Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
