ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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