Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Bring me that man meat
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
