WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
