I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it's like iHOP with fire
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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