She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
