this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
