it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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