Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I smell stomach acid.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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