I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
