My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
