I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
