it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The Olympian is in my bed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
