im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
