If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
