I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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