I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize