I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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