We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
