it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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