would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Someone shattered a urinal.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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