I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
