you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
