Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
