he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
