So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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