No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
