I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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