You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
