This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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