I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
