A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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