U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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