i think my tv is drunk
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
as a side note pls kill me
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
