There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
