her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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