dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
