I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
