I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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